So, I finally took the plunge...

So, after reading (and loving) the Twilight Series I was ever so terrified of watching the movie. However, this month the movie Watchmen came out which was another book turned movie I was terrified of seeing. But, I was amazed at what a good job the movie makers did with the comic I loved so much that I figured Twilight couldn't have been that bad...

Well, maybe it was because I was anticipating such a terrible movie, or maybe it actually wasn't as bad as people said it was... I don't know, but I really didn't think I would be able to sit through the whole thing. Interestingly enough I actually found some marginal enjoyment from watching it. I guess after seeing Watchmen, which was awesome, I could see how things can change between a book and a movie and it would still be ok.

Well, the movie Twilight pales in comparison to the book. Of course they changed things, of course the character development in the movie sucked, of course great stuff was left out, and OF COURSE Edward (and the rest of the vampires) are no where near as beautiful as they were in the book... but, it really wasn't that bad. Of course I don't feel a strong urge to watch it again... hehe, I'd rather read the book again!

I'm sure this blog is sick and tired of being about a stupid kids book, but oh well... I guess I'm still obsessed :)

I used to hate reading...

So, once upon a time I was a kid... and when I was a kid I went to school. At school there was this dreaded thing that happened everyday... English class. When I was really young I actually looked forward to English class, I don't really remember why, but I thought it would be great to learn lots of new words... I had no interest in learning how to spell them, just how to use them! At any rate, with the inception of English class... masquerading as "Language Arts" in 4th grade I got my first taste of a class I would hate for the next eight years.

I think the main reason I didn't like English class was because I had no control over what I was reading. If I was reading a book for class I didn't really have time to read a book of my choosing on the side. So, reading for pleasure took a backseat to getting acceptable grades. I can't really remember many of the books I read for English class throughout middle and high school, until 12th grade that is. I do remember Number the Stars because I loved it, and The Scarlet Letter because I hated it! Aside from that I don't remember much. I'm sure its because I was being forced to read, and I hate being forced to do anything.

Well, as luck would have it, in 12th grade my school offered AP English... a class I was extremely under qualified for. (or should I say "A class for which I was extremely under qualified"... English is so confusing!) My three best friends, whose confidence with English far outshone mine, wanted to take the AP class. Fortunately, there was no entrance exam, though there probably should have been. But why would any student sign up for such a challenging class if they weren't up for it? Sigh, peer pressure, ain't it a bitch?

At any rate, I started to love reading again in that class. Even though I had no idea what an adverb was or a reference error, at least I could keep up. I even skipped half a day of classes once hiding out in the aud to finish reading a book... I think it was Tess of the Durbervilles, and I didn't even like that book, but I was really committed to that class. My teacher, Ms. Ellis, was down right inspiring. She told me she couldn't even give me a grade on my first written assignment because it was so hopelessly flawed! After rewriting it with her suggestions I still only got a C... I had to work hard in that class... that woman had standards, and she wasn't going to lower them, even for a wretch like me!

At any rate. If you have been checking my Book Reviews posting then you may have noticed that beginning in January I fell in love with reading again. I didn't read too much in college... too much "work" to do. But over the last year or so I have been warming up to books again, and I am now addicted once more. :)

Right now I'm reading Wuthering Heights, a 150 year old book and I didn't even know what it was about when I picked it up. It's around 300 pages long and I am a little past 50 pages. I have learned a ton of new words so far... I might post them! I'm sure most of them are useless, but I really do like learning words. It's a much more difficult book to read than those I have been reading this past year, but I still don't want to put it down. I don't think I could have read a book like this outside of an English class before. I never had the attention span for something like this.

Recently I have developed two new habits, that I seem to be sticking with. Back in September when I returned to Korea I started pasting my daily schedule of students into a notebook. This way I could keep a neat paper trail of all my work. What's more, this January I started reading like a fiend. I am not a habitual person by nature, so I've been astonished to watch myself develop these fixations. I'm not sure how long the reading one will last, but if the schedule one is any indication, I think I shall be reading like this for a while.

I have a long list of other things I would love to be this motivated to do on a daily basis... I wonder if I can learn to focus my new persistent behaviour on other tasks. Here are some new habits I would love to establish:
1. work on my grad project!
2. clean my home daily.
3. do laundry
4. study languages
5. write (in my journal, and creatively)

Those are 5 things I would love to do better at... of course I could make a much longer list, but I am focusing on the most necessary for the time being. Any input? Any advice on how to focus? I was going to make a sign to try and remind myself to do these things.... or concoct some kind of reward system... but I don't need to remind myself to paste my schedule into my notebook, and reading is its own reward... why can't I feel this way about those other tasks?

And another good story is murdered!

Sigh... What is the POINT in making a book into a movie? REALLY people! I mean... if they make a book into a movie... why does it typically SUCK so much? I'll tell you why... its the same reason you don't typically hear Handel's Messiah played on an electric piano with banjo accompaniment and the chorus howled by a dying cat... Some art forms just don't translate between mediums.

So, I saw the movie InkHeart today... and it was a sad day... I'm really glad I didn't pay for the tickets, but at the same time I feel really bad that John had to pay for them. He knew I had read and loved the book, and so he was sweet enough to take me out to the movie today (I ABSOLUTELY LOVE going to see a movie... far more than is healthy...) Needless to say, I was not impressed.

Basically that movie was hardly even a skeleton of the book. It was really quite sad. And I really do not like Branden Fraiser... I don't even like him enough to double check if I spelled his name correctly! Well, the character development was non-existent, which really bothers me, since that is always my favorite part of any story. The acting was mostly sub-par, although Helen Mirren did her very best with the script and she was quite entertaining... I think she is the only actor who did more than an ounce of character research.

In conclusion... read the book... don't waste your time with the movie... This is what I have been told about Twilight as well... I haven't seen the movie cause I can't download a good copy of it yet... sorry to say it but I will not pay to see that one... and since I'm in Korea I didn't really have much chance to be legit about it anyway. But, when and if I do succumb to morbid curiosity and watch the Twilight movie, I'm sure I will post another angry response...

I'm starting to understand why John hates it so much when he gets a book that says "Soon to be a major motion picture!" I guess I just think stories are sacred, and making crappy movies out of them is desecration.

Just a quick update

So, I have been neglecting my blog recently... I haven't got too much to say but...

I finished reading Hope's Wish, it was a sad but fulfilling book, I haven't written a review yet, but I will... I am starting to run out of books! I never thought that would happen... I still have several to go, but at this rate I might actually read everything I own! At least the stuff I own in Korea.

I went to a volunteer dinner party thing for the organization I work with to teach poor kids here in Seoul. It was nice, I met a few other volunteers and the operators of the org. The WHOLE spread was vegetarian, I was so shocked at that. It was at an Italian restaurant in Itaewon, Seoul's foreigner district. The food was decent, but not as good as what my mom makes... She could open a totally kick ass Italian join here and she isn't even Italian!

My right knee cracked!! :) This is a good thing. I hurt my knees several years ago in tae kwon do. It caused me to go through months of PT and I couldn't even use the stairs for weeks... I wasnt supposed to use them for months, but since my classroom was on the 3rd floor... well that wasn't really going to work... But finally my right knee is loosening up... it has been SUPER tight for the last few years, but after almost a year of yoga things are improving. After only 2 months of yoga I had almost no pain in either of my knees, which was a wonderful thing! I figure at this rate my right knee will be completely healed in another year or two!

I am testing a way to make my blog posts show up on Facebook... I don't know how well it will work, or if anyone will even click on them, but if you did then leave a comment :) I am also testing out this cyworld thing that my students use... so far it seems pretty stupid and I like facebook better... but I've only tried one day.

Well, life is pretty dull at the moment, I'm sure I will come up with more soon... and I have a TON of pictures to upload, just too lazy to get around to it!

Actually, I LOVE to read - 2009 edition

Reading Now :
Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer

March 2009

The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera

I can only give the book a 2.5 rating because I don't think I really understood it. There would be brief moments of clarity but they rarely lasted long. There are A LOT of things I liked about this book. Its written in the third person but broken up into segments devoted to the feelings of individual characters. Even though the author spends a section focusing on one character I still don't feel like I understand the characters as well as I would like to. They are very strange people to me, maybe that's why I can't grasp it. I should also add this is by far the most erotic book I've ever read... I'm not saying its indecent, but if words like groin, penis, and infidelity make you squirm you should avoid it. The story is about a man who loves to have many mistresses and the woman he marries and his favorite mistress. It takes place mostly in the Czeck Republic as it goes through an invasion from communist Russia. Its a diverse book that I am sure I would have gotten much more out of if I had read it as part of a college English class. I liked it, but its not very uplifting. It's not depressing, its just very true to the times and the situation at hand.
(2.5/5 stars)

February 2009

New Moon - Stephenie Meyer

Another re-read. I liked this book a lot more the second time around. Knowing the characters better made it more enjoyable. Not to mention that now I understand the reason for the change in style.

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

I'm pretty sure this is the first classic I've read since high school. I really liked the book in the beginning, but towards the middle it got rather bleak. I know that what passes for a happy romance 150 years ago is different from what we expect today, but I don't remember being this dejected after reading Jane Eyre, which was written about the same time. This story is basically about one man who tries to destroy the lives of everyone around him because he lost the woman he loved. Personally I think he was excessively vindictive. However I really thought Heathcliff was a stunningly evil character... even worse than Voldemort. There is a lot of obscure language in this book, but I did pick up a lot of new useful words and reinforced my competence with many words I half knew. All in all its not a bad book, but its about as depressing as All Quiet on the Western Front... be warned.
(2.5/5 stars)

Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

I just reread this book, and its still great. I plan to reread all of them, kinda a little break in between new books :) Does this count as one of the books I read?

Hope's Wish - Stuart and Shelby Stout

This is a true story about a 12 year old girl who died of a very rare and fast growing bone cancer. She met with the people from the make a wish foundation and she wished to grant the wishes of 155 other children in her state. So they raised 1 million dollars in her name. This story was very moving and painful. Its really heavy on Christianity as well, which might make some non-religious people uncomfortable, but I think it adds another dimension to the story. This story isn't just about watching a 12 year old girl die of cancer, but more than that its about watching how cancer effects her family. Her family struggles with the cancer and it really shakes their faith life, medicine, marriage, family and of course God. It very inspiring to watch them work through it. As I read this book I felt, if they can get through this and still be good people in the end then anyone can endure anything. Not only are they good people in the end, I think they are better people. They learn a lot about life and love and what is truly important and they aren't afraid to share their weaknesses and how they changed. This story really is making me consider being a hospice volunteer when I get back to the states... I'm not really sure if I can do it, but I figure if I can, then I could really help someone who needs it... and after reading this book I have a very small understanding of how important good hospice care is, and I believe I want to know more and help improve hospice care.

The Host - Stephanie Meyer

This was Stephanie Meyer's fifth book to appear on the top 100 best selling books of 2008 list. Its in a completely different world than the Twilight series. No Vampires! This is mild science fiction but its mostly, like her other books, about people and relationships and selflessness. I think I am noticing a trend here with her characters... an altruistic, meek female heroine and an understanding, patient, expressive male hero seems to be part of the recipe, and I like it! Basically this book starts off with the world almost completely conquered by parasite type aliens who implant themselves into the human brain and take over. One girl, Melanie, who has evaded capture for many years, was finally caught and an alien, Wanderer, who is very old and strong, was implanted into Melanie's brain. The strange thing is, Melanie's consciousness didn't fade. Melanie and Wanderer have to learn to live together, and they go off on a very dangerous mission... hijinks ensue! This book does not disappoint, and its nice to get some quality SF reading done :)
(4/5 stars)

Predictably Irrational - Dan Ariel

I started reading this book back in December, but I was reading so many other books that I couldn't concentrate on this... I'm going to do my best to stick to one book at a time now. One of my students was reading this book and he gave me a copy so we could talk about it in class, and I've finally finished it! Its actually a really interesting book, and I think most people will find much of it an eye opener. There was a lot of it where I wanted to say "well, yeah DUH!" And my student actually told me he thinks I am more rational than most people... can you believe it?! Someone actually thinks I'm a rational person! Bless his heart! My favorite parts in this book were the chapters on social vs. market norms and how too many options can reduce what we get out of life. My absolute favorite part about this book is that the authors conclusions are based on experiments... now not every experiment is perfect, but at least this isn't just based on anecdotal experiences, like so many books these days. The only reason I am giving this book a 3 is cause there were many places where I REALLY disagreed with the author.... so maybe I didn't really appreciate him as much as I should have. It is a well written, entertaining, and easy read.
(3/5 stars)

January 2009

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

This book was suggested to my by one of my students here in Korea. She said she rereads this book any time she needs to be reminded how lucky she is and how good her life is. I think this is something we all need to be reminded of rather frequently... that no matter how bad things are they can always be worse... and even if life is terrible, like it is for Ivan, then we can still have a great day. I'm sure you might not think Ivan's day is a good one, but just ask him how he feels and I'm sure his perspective will be different than yours.
(3.5/5 stars)

Breaking Dawn - Stephenie Meyer

This is definitely the most suspenseful of the four novels. I always had a feeling I knew how things would turn out (for the most part) but I had no idea how Meyer was going to pull it off without it seeming unbelievable. She did pull a few unexpected things out of nowhere... but then again this is a world a mythical creatures, so I guess that is to be expected. I liked this book because she shifts narrators in the middle of the book, from one main character to another. This way we can see two different perspectives and get to know another character better. I don't want to say too much about this book because it would spoil the plot of the other three. But I am also pretty impressed that there don't seem to be any gaping plot holes. I plan on reading the saga again, since it only took me three weeks to read all four books the first time... but it was a great read, I didn't want it to end. I really hope she publishes Midnight Sun, I think it would be a great read.
(5/5 stars)

Eclipse - Stephenie Meyer

As I mentioned in this entry I have become rather obsessed with this series. I don't even feel like I can say ANYTHING about this book except that I love it! If I say anything else it would give something away, and I really don't want to do that. This book is however, more predictable than the first two... but just because I felt like I knew what was going to happen before the characters figured it out, I still had no idea what they were going to decide to do about the problems when they figured it out. There are so many times in this series that the characters do something I totally cannot understand. They are way more complex than me, and MUCH better about expressing their feelings and thoughts that I will ever be! I envy Meyer's ability to express herself so well through her characters... she is a master in the making. I'm reading these books too fast, I have to start over! I totally understand how my mom feels now!
(5/5 stars)

New Moon - Stephenie Meyer

It only took me about 2.5 days to read this second book in the Twilight series and it was quite a ride. I have to be honest I wasn't soooo in love with how the book started out... as a matter of fact I HATED the way the author tried to make references to everything of importance that happened in the first book... it just felt so unnatural... like on TV when you hear "Previously on Battlestar Galactica..." well... you probably hear a different show name, but you know what I mean... but then the story got ... downright painful! Wow, its not common to watch an author beat the living cr@p out of her characters, but Meyer is REALLY good at that. She doesn't handle them delicately, she pushes them, and I love that. This book is totally different from the first, it even leaves a different taste in your mouth! There are new characters and old characters who behave in new ways! Its a great story and filled with lots of great emotion and action! A wonderful sequel.
(5/5 stars)

Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

AWESOME book!!! I honestly don't know what came over me as I read this book. I seriously couldn't stop thinking about it. This is a book about the irresistible temptation to be with someone who you know is very very bad for you. But love isn't about what you know, its about what you feel, and this book really plays on that theme. I think the author is a master at writing about uncomfortable emotions. Its almost gut wrenching at times... gut wrenching in a very good way though. I am pretty sure this will be the first book in a LONG time that I will read twice, and probably the first book EVER that I will read three times. I had to force myself to leave it home today, or else I would have already started to read it again!
(6/5 stars!)

Sandman Vol. 1 - Neil Gaiman and others

Great story, interesting art, I cant wait to read the rest of them. I really like the characters, but I had no idea this took place in the DC universe so I was a little confused for a while, and its good to know something about the comics before you read..

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett

I started this book back in 2008, but I'm listing it in 2009... I hope that's not cheating! Anyway, this was a great book. It was mostly light and comical, and the ending gave a really good message about caring for the Earth and each other. Also it points out that even if you think you were built for something you can choose to be something else. You might not understand that without reading a book... but any kid who was pushed by their parents to be something they didn't want to be will relate to it (not that that is my situation at all!) Anyway, its a book about Armageddon and an angel and Devil who are trying to stop it cause they have really started to enjoy life on Earth over the last several thousand years :) cute.
(4/5 stars)

Previous Year's Reviews
2008

Books I want to read
The Yiddish Policemen's Union
Norwegian Wood
His Majesty's Dragon
A Short History of Nearly Everything
A People's History
Galileo's Daughter
(Still need to buy)
Before the Fallout
(Left these ones in America)
The Time Traveler's Wife
Night
Fahrenheit 451
Lord of the Flies
The Dragonriders of Pern
The Corrections

The Saga is finished :(

So, I finally finished the Twilight Saga. I read the last 200 pages as slowly as I could. But, it is still over. I was happy with the ending, it wasn't as contrived as I thought I would be, every thing seemed very well thought out. I really envy good writers who can make you think "Wow, how did she think about all this and find a way to make it fit together so nicely?"

I really wish I could write well, and so, I have started writing. I am just writing short stories now, and I haven't finished anything... I doubt I ever will finish anything. I have no idea how to start or end a story, and my knowledge of character development is minimal at best. But I am going to read some guides and test some stuff out... who knows, one day I might post a short story here... but I think that will be years in the making. Even though I may dream of being a writer (I dream of becoming many things) I can settle for just writing stories for me :)

Anyway, I'm going to post my review of the final book from the series on my book review page and on Facebook. I have already convinced one of my friends to start reading the series and another is soon to follow, my mom even said she would check it out of the library :) So maybe you should check it out too.

So, next Monday is "Korean" New Year... in America we tend to say Chinese New Year, but I live in Korea so I have to say Korean New Year. So, for Korean New Year my beau and I are going to Jeju island, which is the biggest island off the south coast of Korea. I really don't know what to expect. It is our first domestic vacation in Korea and I'm VERY excited!!! I will be sure to post too many pictures on Facebook and maybe here too.

Love you all... so what are you reading these days? I think I'm gonna read Twilight again :)

I'm Obsessed!

My last post was a scant 6 days ago, and in that time I have polished off another 1,100 pages of the Twilight series!!!! I am absolutely crazy about this story and the characters... every time some character does something I hate, they totally redeem themselves. Reading these books is almost surreal... I can FEEL what the characters feel... its nuts! This author is so DAMN good that I CANNOT put her books down even to eat or sleep!

And anyone who knows me (and since only people who know me read this, that would be all of you) I am not a good reader. It took me like 6 months to read The Lord of the Rings, and that was also a damn good book. But this Twilight thing is different... Its a total compulsion! I don't read cause I want to I read cause I HAVE to! When I'm not reading (like right now!) I envy the time my future and past self will have/had with the books... I know that sounds kinda sick, but I'm sorry, I'm not one for sugar coating my thoughts (though it might pay off to work on that)

I have had only one other experience like this (Of course, my memory sucks so much maybe I'm forgetting another insane addiction, though I doubt it)... I am speaking, of course, of the best Fantasy comic ever to grace the shelves of the independent publisher section in comic shops... Elfquest. This was a comic I started reading in graphic novel format when I was in middle school. Though it began publication in 1978 its still a wonderfully modern story with amazing characters and beautiful art. Unfortunately, like all things it has come to a near stand still, if not an end. Though there is still a chance for a revival, I am happy with my memories.

I used to read that comic over and over and over (all 10+ graphic novels!) It was to the point that my friends (who were also hopelessly addicted for a while) could read one sentence from any page in any book and I could tell them exactly what was happening, what it looked like, to such an extreme detail its almost embarrassing... My mom would thought if I put as much effort into my school work as I put into the world of EQ that I would get much better grades! ;) She also thought it was some crazy D&D obsession and I would end up jumping from tree to tree in tights with a long bow hunting deer... Neither of those things happen... mothers have to worry thought right? Or they wouldn't be mothers :)

Anyway, My obsession with EQ lasted many years and faded when I entered college with only 2 graphic novels to call my own (bk. 4 and hidden years) and no friends who like EQ like I did, and only one who knew anything about it. So my addictive personality laid dormant for 10 years until I was wandering aimlessly though an airport in NJ waiting to catch a flight back to Korea... I found my favorite place, a bookstore... any bookstore, and walked around. I saw the display for the Twilight books and remembered that some of my students had mentioned it and that it was going to be a movie. All I knew is that it was about vampires in high school... boy was I wrong. But I picked up the book anyway. It was the movie edition so it tried to give me some impression of what the characters looked like on the front... and after reading the book I can say that the characters in the movie look like a poor imitation of the ones in the book... but the actors are only human... what more could they do? Movie magic can only do so much.... GOD I sound like a freak.

So, I sat in the bookstore reading the first book and I couldn't leave... I was so engross that I stayed there for two hours and read the first four chapters... I was in such an uncomfortable position but I didn't care. I had no idea if my plane had landed or even taken off, so I bought the book and continued on my journey. Unfortunately I was in the middle of like 2 other books at the time so I didn't let myself continue with Twilight at that time. I finished the other two books and went into my closet to choose my next book and in the back I found Twilight... honestly I said to myself "lets get this silly teen book over with" Boy did I underestimate how I would feel about this story.

I had already read the first 4 chapters, but ... its me people... I couldn't really remember them... I bought it like two months ago... that's like decades for my goldfish brain. So I skimmed through the first few confusing chapters and continued on... and then I was HOOKED! OMG, the way this author can write intense emotions and really intimate situations is just mind boggling... maybe I just don't read enough books with any kind of emotion... guess that happens when your an SF girl, but wow... this was great.

I just want to get something straight... when it all comes down to it, this is not a book about vampires... its a book about so much more. That's really what I love about it. Reading this book gives me adventure, love, hate, confusion, violence, peace, and moments of all kinds that actually cause my temperature to rise and my head to get dizzy! Now, I just need someone else to read this so they can tell my I'm insane. There has to be something wrong with me that I love this story so much. I've read 3 out of 4 books and I'm eager for the 4th and even more eager to start reading them all over again! Especially the first!

I've never been able to concentrate on a novel like this for such an extended period of time... just to provide some perspective here... the first three books are about 1,600 pages and I have read that in about 2 weeks... now I know these are teen books, but the only other really long book I've read was TLOTRs and that was 1,200 pages... of course much harder... totally an adult book, lots more big words and a lot less dialogue... but still... like I said, that took me 6 mths! Maybe I should stick to teen books for a while!

Ok, time to write formal reviews on my book reviews page and then move on to the final book. It looks like its written in the style of Bram Stoker's Dracula, which I really enjoyed in HS... I borrowed these books from my student, and I REALLY don't want to give them back... I also really don't want to sleep at all tonight... I might be up late tomorrow mom... but I'll try to wake up in time to vid chat with you!!! call me if I don't and wake me up! Night!

Changes

So, I changed the colors again, hopefully only my mom saw the old colors... I agree, too dark. Anyway, I was checking into using user created templates, but they all messed with my format and removed some of the gadgets on the side, so I would have to recreate them after installing the new template... not a huge problem, just a hassle!

Anyway, I re-did some of the formatting on my page to resemble my mom's a little better. I also imported my stuff to word press and I'm going to play around with that site and make a decision later... I am kinda partial to blogger just cause its owned by google, and I tend to love all things google... but I have to be less bias here... I also updated my Book Reviews page cause I liked my mom's format so much.

I finished Twilight... dang that was fast. The end of the book comes with the first chapter of the second book... that's one thing I don't like about reading a book from a series... the first chapter of the second book is always a nonchalant attempt to recap the previous book... it always seems so phony, but I got past it with Harry Potter, I think I can get past it with the Twilight series. But in a word this book was irresistible, enthralling, addictive, immobilising. I think you should totally read it! I have to write my review and move on though, but I really want to read it again... I think I will!!

Where have I been?

Hello 2009. In 10 days Bush will be 'gone' and in 17 days I will be 29. This is a month of new beginnings! At least I hope so :)

I haven't been too terribly busy this month, but I am a little disappointed with myself because I am not doing much about my resolutions. Here they are:
1. Eat Healthier
2. Finish my thesis for grad school

Now, I have contacted my grad school advisor for the first time in MONTHS, but I haven't done much more than that. As for eating healthy I haven't made any changes what so ever. But I am hoping to go to Costco sometime soon, and I can at least get Fiber-1 bars... I don't know if they have oatmeal there, but if they do that would solve my breakfast problem.

I have been eating an eggmcmuffin meal at Mcdonald's 3-5 times a week for the last couple of months... its not good... I'm not getting extremely fat or anything, its a lot of cholesterol though, and I don't like that... Its 570 calories, which isn't terrible, but it doesn't really fill me up most days... and its about 250 mg of cholesterol, which is like 80% of my daily value. About 2 years ago I had my cholesterol checked, and it wasn't good... it wasn't terrible either and I don't have any risk factors (At least I don't think so) and the Dr. told me not to worry... but that was 2 years ago, I was 26... Now I'm turning 29, soon things will change... I have to take better care of myself as I get older, I cant eat as much as I used to... something that I am desperately trying to change... but MAN! I just love eating... I'm not even hungry right now and I cant stop thinking about eating.

I force myself to eat something in the morning cause I am terrified of being hungry in the middle of a class... today I am working 6 hours straight without a break... and actually its longer than that cause I am going to teach my kids after work. so from 10:30 AM to 7PM I will not be able to eat... that's kinda scary to me, so I have to eat something now or else I will be hungry!

I don't know why being hungry worries me so much. I'm convinced that I cant concentrate on am empty stomach and that I get grouchy and moody... I don't want to be that way, so I eat... but I don't really know if being hungry can truly have that effect on me... I mean seriously, I'm an adult... I should be able to resist a little hunger for a few hours... so why can't I?

So, here is my plan:
1. go to Costco
2. buy: fiber1 bars, almonds, oatmeal (I hope) and something else that is healthy and filling that I can use for snacks
3. If I get oatmeal: have two packets of oatmeal in the morn for breakfast and a yogurt (maybe)
4. If I can't get oatmeal: Have a hard boiled egg sans yolk, toast (with butter or margarine??? one slice or two??? Can I find wheat bread???) yogurt and maybe some fruit... this option is less appealing cause it is more work...
5. Plan one at home lunch/dinner a week... probably pasta... and try to do it more than once a week as time goes by.
6. eat almonds and fiber one bars for snacks instead of cookies and waffles... (good luck)

I don't know how well that will work... my schedule only really allows for two meals a day... breakfast and then one during my break... my break starts at 11AM and ends at 5:30PM... so I can eat at 11 and then again at 4:30, which I sometimes do... but those are just too close together... and I have a tendency to eat a dinner style meal for both lunch and dinner... I think that's not so good. So I need a plan for a third meal... I will do what ever for that big lunch at 11. But I need something healthy at 4:30... preferably homemade, and not the same as breakfast... but if I can get oatmeal, then I think I could do the oatmeal breakfast in the morn and the toast and egg white one in the evening... then I also need a bedtime snack... maybe a fiber one bar? Gosh I hope Costco still has those.

Wish me luck! I'm feeling better about this plan that I have before, I've really been fleshing it out lately!

BTW. I finished reading Good Omens and I will add it too my book list soon, but I am already halfway thought Twilight... I have heard the movie is not good, but let me tell you the book is irresistible! I would call it an emotional thriller! I think you should all pick it up! Its great, makes your heart race like when you were in 10th grade trying to sneak a peak at that boy you liked and trying not to get caught by your friends cause you didn't want to get teased by them!!! I hope I'm not the only one with that kind of experience in my past!

Love you all... when is someone gonna come visit me!!!!!!!

Last Weekend of Freedom

So, here I am, about to start waking up at 6am (without choice) and dressing up every morning... sometimes on Saturday to make a buck (rather a won.) Its really not a bad job, and I am getting pretty bored these days... honestly, I don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have a job, I really sympathise with disabled people who cant work when I go through times like this.

A little over a week ago the building I work in caught on fire! I work on the 10th floor and the fire was on the 7th floor. My office was totally filled with ash and so much was destroyed... I have to get stuff dry cleaned that I left there, and my shoes... I don't even know how to clean them, but they were brown before, now they are black... and I only bought one new pair of shoes in the US, and they aren't the best for pants... oh well. Oh, and the whole place REEKS!!! It smells so bad, I am sure the fumes are toxic. Its just nasty. Its gotten better since last week, and I really hope that next week when I start will be even better.

I updated my books Ive read page. I finished the book Middlesex, and I thought it was quite good... it was long though! But I think most people would like the story, I did.

I made a to do list, but I still haven't printed it out. I will have to do that when I am back at work... and I'm going to make some of it public:
1. buy plane tickets to Japan
2. buy plane ticket to US (for Nov)
3. Contact my advisor and figure out when I can start my paper for my masters
4. email old school friends, is it possible to film a lesson in their class in Nov for my cert?
5. apply for an extension to my certification

That was all pretty important stuff that I have to do... well I don't have to do it, but it would make my life a lot easier if I could have those things done asap. The stuff on my 101 goals list is mostly not essential, but just stuff I would like to do, but the above list is actually essential. And I figure if I write it down I will stop worrying so much. All this worry and other bad emotions I have been feeling about all the stuff I have to do isn't healthy or helpful. Also, If I write this down in a public forum it gives me some type of accountability. (Hopefully)

My microwave is broken :( I have to tell my landlord, but its a holiday weekend, so I guess they will be with their family... but that means no more nuked rice for a while... that was sorta staple in my diet... sigh, I'm hungry. Oh well... I just don't feel like getting pots dirty right now. I think I might force myself to go to bed soon. night night.

Actually, I like to read - 2008 edition

July-December 2008

A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle

I really enjoyed this book. It gave me a lot to think about. I think this is a book that 95-99% of all people would benefit from if they read it... at least two or three times. I don't really understand everything I read, but I am really curious, and I think this book is going to help me grow in a positive direction, but I have to tell you, a lot of the changes I have to make are scary, and you cant understand why unless you read the book... I wouldn't recommend this one for a library book, cause you are going to want to write all over it and re-read it.
(5/5 stars)[November 2008]

Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides

Well, this was the longest book I've read since the lord of the rings. I'm pretty impressed with myself for not giving up on it. I'm sure if your reading this you know me, so you know something about my attention span... Anyway, this was a good read. I think its something people should read if they like history and coming of age stories. The back of the book doesn't really do the book justice. Of course like any long book there are slow parts, but they are very short lived. This is a lively book that goes through almost 80 or 90 years of American history through the eyes of a hermaphrodite. The fact that the main character is a boy and a girl really isn't the important part of the story. Its about family and history repeated self discovery. I highly recommend this book, especially if you want something I'm sure will take more than a weekend to finish (I think it would even take my mom a while to read, and she is real fast!)
(4/5 stars)[September 13, 2008]

The Watchman - Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons

I wanted to read this graphic novel because the movie is coming out next year. I have watched the trailer a ton of times, I really like the smashing pumpkins song they use for it, and the part where the owl ship (Archie) comes out of the water... it just looks so good. I started reading the comic at least a year ago and I stopped, I cant remember why... But this time I finished it. It's a really good story about what happens if there really were superheros... not like superman, but like batman, just regular people who fight crime in amazing ways... and how they effect our society... its interesting... I'm not so sure about the ending... and I'm really afraid of what they will make of it when they finish the movie... the guy who did 300 is working on it, so it should at least look good... here's hopin' :)
(5/5 stars)

Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

This wasn't a bad book, it was well written and an interesting story, just not my type of book. I guess if you have no idea what war is like then you should read this book so you can stop supporting wars... I have read more than my fair share of war books (All Quiet on the Western Front, Fallen Angels etc.) so I really have no desire to spend any extra time in that world. Not to mention we have more than enough war in the real world that I don't need to escape to a world of war in my spare time. However, it was a very honest account of some of the terrible things that can happen... though it is a little too "Hollywood" from time to time. It would not be a waste of time to read this book
(3/5 stars) [July 2008]

Books I want to read (15)
Hope's Wish
The Yiddish Policemen's Union
Norwegian Wood
His Majesty's Dragon
A Short History of Nearly Everything
A People's History
Galileo's Daughter
(Still need to buy)
Before the Fallout
(Left these ones in America)
The Time Traveler's Wife
Night
Fahrenheit 451
Lord of the Flies
The Dragonriders of Pern
The Corrections